Learning to Trust My Intuition (Again)
Navigating Friendships, Red Flags, and Reclaiming My Power
There’s a certain kind of exhaustion that comes with trying to figure out if you’re being paranoid or if your intuition is sounding an alarm.
The back and forth of, Am I projecting past wounds? Or am I picking up on something real? It’s a special kind of mental gymnastics that I wish I never had to master.
Lately, I’ve been sitting with this question again, feeling the energy in certain relationships shift again and wondering—Are you really here for me, or are you just here for the version of me you think is about to pop?
I want to be clear: I’ve doubted people before and been wrong. I take the time to be sure that what I’m sensing is my intuion and not just anxiety or paranoia, I even take it to my therapist for a second opinion. But more often than not, I’ve doubted people, went against that doubt, and been proven right.
Right about hidden agendas, conditional support, quiet envy, and competition masked as friendship. I don’t say this from a place of bitterness, but from experience—years of being gaslit, then gaslighting myself into thinking I was imagining things, only to later realize that my gut had known the truth all along.
And now, I find myself in this space once again—observing, making no sudden moves, watching actions instead of words. These same cycles are resurfacing—testing me, wondering if I’ll truly become everything they suspect I’m capable of. Waiting to see if they can profit from their proximity to me.
Let me be the first to tell you: Yes, I will. But no, you won’t.
The Red Flag I Almost Ignored
I believe support should flow naturally. When you truly care about someone—when you genuinely want to see them thrive—you show up. You engage, uplift, and celebrate them. I know this because that’s exactly how I show up for the people I love, without having to be asked for it. I’m always speaking my friends' names in rooms they don’t even know about because they deserve support and prosperity. We’re all destined to thrive!
I do these things because I want to, because even when I don’t have the finances, there are always free ways to support. Because their success brings me true joy. Because I believe we can all have a seat at the table without competing for space.
And through a conversation with a friend, I realized—that’s why I don’t ask for that same support. Not because I don’t want it, but because I naturally take note of who reciprocates that energy. Who shows up for me simply because they want to? Who speaks my name in rooms I’m not in with love—rather than tearing it down when I’m not looking? Who is reciprocating?
I’m starting to notice the pattern: when someone has always been in your orbit but never quite extended that same organic support. When they cheer loudly for others but seem… quieter when it’s you. And then, suddenly, as they sense your abundance rising, they decide to try harder at your friendship.
Well. That’s suspicious.
And I’m paying attention.
Healing From the Manipulation of My Past
I know exactly why this situation makes me uneasy. It takes me back to past friendships where I thought I was surrounded by my best friends, only to realize they were playing mind games—testing me, my intelligence, my intuition, even trying to see if I’d catch on. People who made me feel crazy for noticing the cracks in their performance. I was surrounded by people who benefited from me questioning myself.
And that’s why I can’t ignore the feeling I have now. Because I’ve done too much work—on healing, on learning, on forgiving and trusting myself—to let history repeat itself.
At this point in my life, I don’t beg for clarity. If someone is showing up inconsistently, if I have to wonder whether their support is genuine, if my gut is screaming at me that something feels off?
That’s enough. That’s my answer.
I’m not in the business of calling people out or wasting energy on exposés. Maybe it’s my Cancer Mars, but I believe people should have the gumption to take accountability for their own actions. At the end of the day, I know I’m divinely protected—that’s why I’ve lost the friendships I have. They were never meant to stick around. So now instead of disappointment, I just feel gratitude. I’ve been slowly upgrading ever since.
But I do believe in making my boundaries clear and well-known. So, if you’re in my life—if you’re watching from the sidelines, if you’re keeping tabs, if you’re waiting to see what happens next—I just want you to know that I see you. So sit back and enjoy the show, because this phoenix is rising from her ashes!
And more importantly, I see myself now, too.
I trust my intuition more than anyone who will try and cause me to doubt it. And I respect myself too much to continue entertaining anything less than what I deserve.
Empowering Yourself to Trust Your Inner Voice
If you’re navigating the uncertainty of trusting your intuition in relationships, remember this: You are worthy of genuine connection, and your instincts are your greatest ally.
If you feel doubt, pause, reflect, and let your feelings guide you. Pay attention to the little things—whether people show up for you consistently, whether their actions align with their words, and whether their energy feels aligned with your truth.
It’s okay to let go of relationships that no longer serve you, even if there’s deep history, even if it’s hard. Trust that the right people will always find a way to meet you where you are—authentically and without hesitation. You deserve a community who shows up for you.
Keep nurturing your intuition, and let it lead you to spaces of peace, alignment, and the purest connections. The more you trust yourself, the more the universe will show you what you truly deserve. Keep rising.
Reflection Questions to Help You Dive Deeper into Your Relationships & Intuition:
What are some red flags you’ve noticed in your friendships or relationships? How did they make you feel?
When you think about the people you trust, what qualities stand out to you most?
How do you like to show up for your friends or loved ones? What does your support look like?
How do you want to be shown up for in return? What kind of support makes you feel seen and valued?
Can you think of a time when you ignored your intuition in a relationship? What happened, and what did you learn from it?
Are there any relationships in your life right now that feel misaligned? How can you start listening to your inner voice more when it comes to those connections?
Bravoooooo 💛💛🤲🏾🤲🏾